


Falling Out, Falling In

by Avistella



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Both Zen's for cheating and my own for writing this, F/M, Infidelity, Lovers to Friends, Moving On, Non-Explicit Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8679478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella
Summary: You catch Zen cheating on you.You leave.He tries to follow you.





	1. Chapter 1

Initially, you're not too sure just what it is you're looking at. ...No, that's a lie. You know _full well_ what it is you're looking at, but your heart, wanting to save you from the pain, tries to vehemently deny the scene before you. But you can't. Not when it's staring at you straight in the face, and your rationality doesn't give a fuck about how you feel and you quickly start to become aware of what _this_ is.

The room is quiet as you stand there, staring at the two figures on the bed as they stare back at you. Your eyes glance over to the scattered clothes on the floor before bringing them back up to what _was_ supposed to be your faithful boyfriend and the woman he's hovering over. For a moment, you can't believe that of all people you find Zen to be cheating with—you flinch slightly from those thoughts, never thinking that they would ever have to cross your mind—it's Echo Girl. The same woman who nearly ruined Zen's career before. But here she was, very much ruining the relationship you thought you had with the actor.

Not a single one of you uttered a word, but you could have sworn you saw Echo Girl smirk at you, and at that, whatever sadness you felt at this discovery is easily overpowered by anger. Zen is the first to make a move; he quickly climbs off of Echo Girl (" _not quick enough though_ ," you think bitterly to yourself) and walks towards you, his steps shaky with both hesitation and fear. Fear for what? You didn't know, and in all honesty, you didn't care because you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Zen was _cheating on you_.

"Babe—"

You don't waste a moment; as soon as Zen is close enough, you slap him _hard_ across his cheek. The sound of the impact echoes in the room, and you can't help but laugh at the irony. Maybe Echo Girl should make a single using that. Zen is too shocked to speak, bringing his hand up to rub his cheek that you _know_ hurts because your hand is throbbing, but it's easy to ignore it because the gaping hole in your heart is so much more painful. The redness on his cheek looked so much more prominent against his pale complexion. Immediately, Echo Girl gets up to run to Zen to help him and fight against you but stops the moment you lay your eyes on her, the unspoken threat hanging in the air.

Since Zen looked like he wasn't going to say anything any time soon, and since Echo Girl was stunned silent at the murderous energy you gave off, you decided to speak up, surprised to find your voice even and firm despite how broken and shaken up you felt inside. "I'll come back for my stuff later. I do apologize for _interrupting_ your time together," you spit out with as much spite and venom as you can.

At your words, the actor finally finds it in himself to plead, "Wait, please. Listen—"

You cut Zen off when you yank off the necklace you were wearing, breaking the chain. It was a simple necklace that Zen had given you for your anniversary, but you had loved it all the same because of the promises that the actor gave you along with it. Hurt flashes through your eyes as you recall the memory of him whispering promises of "forever" and "only" before your expression twists to one of pure disgust and hatred the longer you stare at the necklace. For a second, you debate on whether you should throw the necklace towards Zen or towards the floor instead; you decide on throwing it at the floor and stomping on it. From the corner of your eyes, you see Zen flinch the moment your foot makes contact with the accessory, making a painful-sounding crunch.

 _Did that hurt?_ You wanted to ask that question towards the young man before you, but you were far too overcome with emotion that your throat refused to cooperate with you. Your heart was beating so loudly, and your ears were ringing. Zen opened his mouth to speak once more, but you turned on your heel without another word. You've already said your piece, and you didn't want to spend a single second longer there. Zen could only helplessly watch your retreating figure, guilt and dread finally starting to settle in him.

As soon as you're outside on the streets, you take out your phone, not bothering to check as you dialed the very first number in your call history. "Yes?" Jumin's deep voice answers the call. Ah, that's right. You had just been talking with him a couple of minutes ago about a potential job offer for Zen. Your stomach twists at the all too fresh memory.

"Jumin..." your voice comes out shaky and weak as the adrenaline is finally starting to die down, and you choke back a sob.

"What's wrong?" Jumin asks, his usual emotionless tone sounding extremely concerned. Usually, you would have commented on it and perhaps joked about it, but right now, there were far more pressing urges to tend to.

"C-Can you help?" you ask as you try to keep yourself together. Just until you're in a safe place. Just until you're in a place that you can _trust_.

"I'll send Driver Kim over right away," the corporate heir answers with no hesitation. He doesn't need an explanation; he's ready and willing to help you out merely because you asked. "Where are you right now?"

"In front of Zen's and my—" you pause to correct yourself mid-sentence, "Zen's apartment."

Without a doubt, Jumin most definitely caught that, but he doesn't pry, much to your relief. He's quiet for a moment, and you start to panic thinking that he hung up on you when you were in the midst of breaking apart in public, but then you hear him let out a breath and speak again, "Understood. Driver Kim should be there momentarily."

"Thank you, Jumin," you barely manage to get the words out before hanging up, not wanting him to witness your small cries.

After Jumin calls for Driver Kim to pick you up, the corporate heir spends a moment to stare at his phone. A part of him wanted to call you back right away, to stay on the line with you until you were safe with Driver Kim; he had never seen nor heard you sound so vulnerable before. At the same time however, Jumin wanted to call Zen to ask what happened. He had a rough idea on what might have transpired between the two of you, but he didn't want to make any assumptions on his friends. His family. An aggravated sigh escaped Jumin's lips as he brought his attention back towards the papers that lay on his desk. He had far too many things to do.

" _Maybe I should propose another cat project,_ " Jumin thinks idly to himself as he picks up his pen once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hooooooo boy_ ; I know Zen would _never_ cheat, but I like writing angst, so here you go.  
>  I actually have _no_ idea where I want to go with this fic, so if you have something you want to read from this, feel free to leave a comment and I _might_ incorporate it into the later chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Ah, there it is_ ," you thought idly to yourself when you saw a fancy car pull up in front of you. It looked extremely out of place in this area, and you would have laughed had the current situation been any different. A familiar face stepped out of the driver's side, and you smiled in greeting as soon as you wiped a few stray tears away from your face with your sleeve. "It's nice to see you again Driver Kim," you try to sound friendly, but your voice shakes and falters near the end. Obviously, you're not in the mood for idle chatter, and Driver Kim is more than understanding. You open up the passenger door, giving one last glance towards the apartment. A part of you had hoped that maybe Zen would have followed after you, but he was nowhere to be found. He was still in there with _that woman_ , and you didn't know how you felt about that.

You cursed to yourself as you forced yourself to finally look away, whatever remaining hope you had left shattering. You enter the car, making yourself comfortable before Driver Kim starts driving. The driver was somebody you could trust without fail, so as soon as the car started moving, you finally allowed your tears to flow freely. But it wasn't enough. The pain and agony was so great that they couldn't be soothed by just crying alone. But not yet. You can't break down just yet. You needed absolute solitude first.

* * *

Jumin was still busy with his work, so Driver Kim led you to the penthouse as per instructed by the corporate heir. You still hadn't stopped crying even upon arrival, prompting a few people in the building to give you curious glances. Once the door shut behind Driver Kim now that his job was done and perhaps out of consideration for you, you finally let loose the raging storm that had festered inside of you since you laid your eyes on that _disgusting_ scene.

You screamed. You screamed at the top of your lungs from both despair and hatred, tugging harshly at your hair as you paced around. When that wasn't enough—the tugging, at least—your hands went to claw at your clothes, particularly around the chest area where your heart was beating. It _hurt_. If it wasn't for this beating heart that you had wholly given Zen, you wouldn't be in so much pain; you wanted to claw at it, tear it out, and just stop its beating overall.

At some point, you faltered with your pacing steps, causing you to fall unceremoniously to your knees, but you didn't care nor did you have the energy to get back up. You continued screaming and crying, heaving and scratching at the carpeted floor as you hunched over, allowing your forehead to rest on the floor, hoping that the memory of Zen cheating on you would just dissolve away, but it wouldn't.

You were still in the middle of breaking down when Jumin entered his penthouse. As soon as he heard and saw the current state you were in, he immediately rushed over to your side. He hesitated on touching you, afraid of startling you as you still haven't taken notice of his presence due to being so far deep in your grief, so he spoke your name. When he wasn't met with a response, he spoke your name again except much louder. That caught your attention.

You snapped your head upwards towards the voice, momentarily pausing in your agonizing cries. When you were met with Jumin's familiar face, a new onslaught of tears appeared as you lunged towards the young man, the abrupt action causing him to fall back with you soaking his expensive suit with your tears. You felt sick and nauseated, your stomach twisting into several knots every time you remembered the scene from before. It left a sour taste in your mouth that you wouldn't mind if you somehow managed to bite your cheeks hard enough to draw blood, washing away the taste. Jumin sat there, motionless and confused. He had no idea what to do; comforting people wasn't something he was used to doing, so he slowly and awkwardly patted your shoulders in a mechanical fashion but still warm from the intentions that came along with it.

The motion was a bit comforting, and perhaps a bit amusing as it was Jumin who was doing it, and it helped clear your mind enough so that you weren't spilling your bleeding heart as much as before. It took several moments for you to calm down, your wails having quieted down to a few occassional quiet sobs. Slowly, you got off of Jumin, muttered a small apology, and started rubbing away at your eyes.

"It's bad for your eyes to do that," you heard the man speak as he firmly grasped your wrists, preventing you from continuing with your actions. "...What happened?"

You bit your lower lip as you recalled the memory. Thankfully, Jumin was a surprisingly patient man towards his friends, and he was more than willing to wait until you were finally ready to speak. You let out a shaky breath and answered, your voice coming up scratchy and hoarse from your previous break down, "I found Zen cheating on me with Echo Girl."

The corporate heir's eyebrows knitted together. "Are you sure?" As soon as the question left his lips, Jumin visibly flinched once he realized how inconsiderate it might have sounded. It was a serious accusation that you no doubt would throw around without good reason, plus the broken state you were in should have been more than enough proof that you were certain. But even so, Jumin was still in disbelief. As much as the two may have bickered with each other, Jumin understood that Zen loved you, so hearing that the actor was cheating on you—with _Echo Girl_ , to top it off—was a little hard for him to swallow.

You nodded slowly, "I caught them in the act."

Jumin's expression twisted to one that was difficult to read, but you can tell from his eyes that he was thinking. About what, you had no idea, but you knew that you could at least trust him. Unlike Zen. You bit back another sob that started to climb its way up your throat. Jumin then asked, "What do you plan to do?"

Leave it to the corporate heir to keep the conversation going, even if it did lack tact at times. You shrugged your shoulders, exhaustion finally starting to catch up with you. "I don't know," you confessed, heaving a sigh. "I just needed to get away from there as soon I can. I wasn't thinking about what I'd do afterwards, but..."

"But...?" Jumin urged you to continue, feeling his stomach twist with uncertainty towards the response that was to come.

"I was thinking about quitting the RFA," you admitted.

You watched as the man's eyes widened at your answer, his mouth opening slightly before pressing them together in a firm line. He closed his eyes, deep in thought, before opening them again. "We can't force you to stay," Jumin sighed in defeat, "But I do hope that you reconsider."

"It's just an idea," you explained. "It's not a final decision yet, but it's something I'm considering. I'm not—...I don't want to make any final decisions yet when I'm still upset like this."

The raven-haired male nodded in agreement, "Indeed. You should never make decisions based on just your emotions alone. You can stay here until you've sorted out your thoughts."

"A-Are you sure? I don't want to impose..." you started, but deep inside you really wanted to accept Jumin's offer. You had nowhere else to go nor did you have the money to stay at a hotel for god knows how long until you've recovered. _If_ you could recover.

"I insist that you stay," Jumin spoke with a finality that implied that this conversation was over. "However, I do ask that you at least talk to V about this before you make your decision to leave the RFA. You are a precious member, and as the leader, I'm sure V has the right to least listen to what you have to say."

"I understand," you nod, "um, I'm a bit tired right now. Is it okay if I can borrow a bed for a bit?"

Jumin wordlessly stands up, offering you his hand to help. You're thankful for it because your knees buckle and you almost fall back down, but the male steadies you with ease. The corporate heir leads you to a guest bedroom, helping you to the bed, afraid that your legs would give out on you if he were to let go. You offer a small thanks, burying yourself under the covers. Jumin lingers by your side just to make sure you're alright before he leaves. As soon as he shuts the door, he can hear your muffled cries once more, and he grimaces at the sound.

The man takes out his phone, bringing it to his ear after dialing the number of the contact he was looking for. Once the call connected, Jumin spoke with a heavy voice, "We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates for this may be slow/sporadic because it's actually extremely painful for me to write this that I need to take breaks, ugh.


	3. Chapter 3

V has no idea just what it is that Jumin needs to discuss with him; however, from the tone of his voice from that one phone call, the photographer could tell that it was a very important and serious matter. The man walked up to the penthouse, finding the bodyguards that helped guide him unnecessary as he already knew where to go. Nevertheless, he appreciated their efforts, offering kind smiles and received them in return, especially from the more familiar faces. As soon as V walked through the door, he had no idea what to think.

V had spotted someone on the couch and had assumed it to be Jumin, but upon closer inspection, he was surprised to find you instead. V felt his heart drop when he took in the state of your appearance. While your clothes did look somewhat presentable, your hair was in disarray while your swollen eyes stared blankly ahead, and V was sure those were tear-stains on your cheeks. What had happened? The last time V had seen you, you were full of life and joy, absolutely radiant as you laughed alongside Zen, linked together with the actor's arm.

"V, I'm glad you could make it," Jumin's voice rang out, and the turquoise-haired male turned around to be greeted by his childhood friend's grim expression.

The photographer pressed his lips together in a firm line, eyebrows furrowing together as he tried to think of where to start. However, before V could even open his mouth, Jumin had raised his hand towards him, gesturing for the man to give the corporate heir a moment. V nodded and watched as Jumin stepped up to you, kneeling down so that he was eye-level with your blank gaze. 

The male called out to you softly, but you didn't respond. Now that you had gotten over the initial anger and the like, you were left feeling completely hollow and empty. There was the occasional dull stab of grief every now and then, but for the most part, you felt absolutely nothing. You felt like you were nothing, having discovered that the love Zen gave you was not something for only you to possess and that he willingly shared it with another woman. A firm hand pressed on your shoulder, and you jolted back to reality, surprise etching themselves onto your features as your eyes slowly came back to focus with Jumin's concerned expression.

"Oh, Jumin...what's wrong?" you asked, even though you already knew the answer.

"You haven't eatten yet," Jumin responded. "You need to get something into your system."

You frowned at his words. You knew that Jumin was right and that you needed to take care of yourself despite your heartache, but you just lacked the appetite. Even if you tried to force yourself to eat, it was difficult to keep it down. It was a struggle to put food in your mouth, and even more of a struggle to keep it in. "...I'm not hungry."

Even if you did feel that way, your body itself thought otherwise. Jumin exhaled a sigh, "Do you think you could at least have a nutrition drink for now?"

In all honesty, you really didn't want to get up, having found yourself comfortable on the couch, but Jumin was worried about you. Not wanting to worry the corporate heir much more than this, you reluctantly nodded. You stood up from the couch and was about to walk to the kitchen, stopping yourself just in time though from bumping into a certain male. "V! When did you get here?" you hadn't even noticed the man come in.

The photographer smiled warmly at you and dismissed your question, not wanting you to fret over how you missed his presence before, "It's nice to see you again."

You nodded, agreeing. An awkward silence followed, and you quickly excused yourself to retrieve your drink. You could feel both men's concerned eyes on your back, and you willed yourself to ignore them, focusing instead on the task at hand. You could already guess on what it was that the two of them would be discussing about. Once you left the kitchen, you found that both Jumin and V had moved to the dining table. Reluctantly, you sat with them.

"Zen is cheating on [Name] with Echo Girl," Jumin starts, and you end up nearly dropping your drink. You liked Jumin; he was a wonderful and supportive friend in his own awkward way, but you wished he could be more tactful with his words at times.

V frowned, "What?"

"It's the truth," you confirm quietly.

"It's not that I don't believe you...I just..." V trailed off, not knowing where he was going with that sentence.

"We're just as shocked and confused as you are," Jumin admitted.

"...Why did you call me here? Surely there's more you want to say," V tried to move the conversation along.

Jumin glanced towards you, gesturing that it was your turn to speak. You took a deep breath, and V doesn't know why, but he braced himself for the words to come. "I'm considering quitting the RFA." The photographer looked like he wanted to ask why, but he bit back his tongue, allowing you to continue. "I don't think I can handle being in the same organization as Zen. The same organization that brought him and I together."

"That makes sense..." V sighed. "Have you tried talking to Zen about this?"

Immediately, you frowned. "And what's there to discuss with him? _Why_ should I talk with him about this?"

"Because it concerns him too," V tried to reason. You were getting more and more upset, but the man needed to make sure this was something you wouldn't regret in the long-run. He continued, "I don't think you should make this kind of choice until you've discussed everything with Zen first."

You stood up abruptly from your seat, the chair making a harsh scraping noise against the floor as you slammed your hands on the table, causing both men to flinch. "Zen already made his choice when he decided to put his dick inside that bitch!" you screeched, not caring if your words were far more vulgar than you were used to speaking out loud.

"[Name], calm down," Jumin spoke. His even tone was so starkingly different compared to yours that you were stunned silent for a moment. You took a breath, slowly sitting back down, ashamed, and muttered an apology. Before the conversation could continue, however, there was a knock on the door, and one of the security guards came in.

"Sir, somebody named Zen from the RFA is just outside and wishes to speak with you."

Jumin and V both glance towards you, wondering what you would like to do. You shook your head, your eyes wide with fear. You were avoiding Zen's calls and texts ever since the incident. You even stopped visiting the RFA chatrooms in fear that Zen would be there, and had asked Seven to keep your location a secret should Zen ask him to try tracking you. You weren't ready yet to confront the actor. Your heart still needed a bit more time to mend. Tears started to form in the corner of your eyes once more, and Jumin made his choice. V had moved over to you, wiping away your tears and trying to soothe you while Jumin got up from his seat and started heading towards the door.

"I'll talk with him outside," Jumin's tone was hard. "Zen is not allowed a single foot inside."

"I highly doubt he'd want to go inside anyways, what with Elizabeth 3rd," V spoke, trying to lighten the atmosphere as he continued to rub your back in a comforting manner.

You heard the door shut behind Jumin, allowing yourself to finally let out the breath you hadn't even realized you were holding. You muttered out another apology towards V, and he smiled softly, patting your head.

"It's okay. Everything will be okay," he promised you. You couldn't bring yourself to believe it.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jumin steps outside, the first thing he notices is how horrible Zen looks at the moment. Granted, despite the messy-looking hair and traces of dark circles under his eyes, Zen still looks rather handsome, but it's plainly obvious he's had _much_ better days. Zen is pacing back and forth, muttering something underneath his breath before the corporate heir clears his throat, gathering Zen's attention.

Immediately, Zen stops and goes up to Jumin and frantically asks, "Have you seen [Name]?!"

Jumin frowns at the question and decides to answer with his own, "Why?"

The corporate heir watches with scrutinizing eyes as Zen takes a step back and hangs his head down in shame. Slowly and carefully, he answers, "...I messed up."

"How so?" Jumin continues to prod. He needs to know and understand Zen's side of the story too before he can make a decision as to whether or not he should reveal the truth that you were currently at his penthouse.

The actor bit his lower lip hard enough to almost draw blood, "She...saw me with Echo Girl."

"The two of you work in the same industry. It makes sense that the two of you will be seen together." _It's not enough_. Jumin needs to hear Zen explicitly say the words he doesn't want to hear. He doesn't want to hear them because he trusted Zen, but at the same time, he _needs_ confirmation. There were many things Jumin could easily buy with money, but this wasn't one of them. That was why Jumin needed to be informed so that he could carefully consider what he needed to do to fix this.

The actor shakes his head, letting out a frustrated growl as he runs his fingers through his hair. "No, Jumin. That's not what I meant. I mean...she saw me...having sex with Echo Girl."

Jumin doesn't know how he feels. He's used to seeing his father change girlfriends all the time, but to find that his friend—even if it didn't seem like it at times due to their bickering—had betrayed the trust of his other friend like that left a vile taste in his mouth. The raven-haired male went to playing with the cuffs of his sleeves as he tried not to let the disgust and disappointment towards the whole situation show on his face.

Being met with nothing but silence, Zen continues, "I haven't seen her since then. She hasn't responded to my calls or texts nor is she ever online in the messenger. I tried asking Seven for help, but he says he doesn't know where she is. Neither Jaehee nor Yoosung have heard from her either. She just... _disappeared_ from my life, and I—"

Jumin can't bear to hear anymore and harshly interrupts the young man, "She gave you her heart. It was obvious she loved you with every fiber of her being, and you took those threads of hers and cut them into pieces the moment you decided to touch another woman the same way you vowed to be only for her. Doesn't it make sense that she would want to disappear from your life?"

Zen flinched from Jumin's words. They were harsh and practically dripping with venom, but it was the truth. As much as he wanted to deny it, he just couldn't. Zen knew he messed up real badly. There was no excuse for his actions, he understood that, but nevertheless, he still _loved_ and _cared_ for you. "Jumin, please, what if something bad happened to her?"

"Then take responsibility for it."

"God _dammit_ Jumin!" Zen was at his absolute limit now, and all the pent up guilt, frustration, worry, and everything else coming out as he lashed out towards the corporate heir who remained standing there with an indifferent expression on his face. "Please, I am _begging_ you. I don't care if I have to swallow my pride and get on my knees; I need to know if she's safe. I hate having to ask you for help, but you have the money and power to find her."

"You always refused any kind of help that involved money or status..." Jumin mused, though it was more to himself than directed towards the young man.

"For her, I will accept any kind of help just to know that she's safe and well," Zen answers firmly.

Seeing the determined look in his eyes, Jumin sighed. "...Let me see if I can text her." Jumin figured you had a choice to decide if you wanted to see Zen now after this piece of news. He went to put his phone back in his pocket as he waited for your response before turning his attention back towards Zen.

"Let me ask you this," Jumin started, going back to fiddling with his cuffs. "What do you plan to say to her once you meet up with her again?"

Before Zen could answer though, Jumin's phone vibrates to life and he takes it out to glance at the text you sent: _"Send him away. And pretend you've never heard from me."_

"Is that her?" Zen asks tentatively, prompting Jumin to look up from his phone.

Jumin can't understand why you've decided against letting Zen know that you were indeed safe, but he respects your wish all the same. The corporate heir lies, "No. It's work-related. You'll have to excuse me. ...I'll see what I can do in finding [Name] and making sure she's safe. ...That includes from you."

Jumin then turns on his heel and leaves Zen alone without another word. The actor stares blankly ahead, letting the raven-haired male's words seep in before he sees himself out of the building and begrudgingly heads back to his home. All he could do was hope that Jumin's money and influence could help give him peace of mind once he knew that you were safe. Zen opened the door to his apartment, still lost in his thoughts and is surprised to find Echo Girl sitting on his couch, waiting for him.

"Zen!" she exclaims happily and runs up to the actor, enthusiastically wrapping her arms around the actor's neck, pulling him down with no consideration for a kiss.

Zen doesn't try to break away and instead kisses her back with as much vigor, kicking the door behind him shut. Guilt pools in his chest. Even after everything he's done, he still hasn't broken ties with Echo Girl. He can't, because your disappearance had left a gaping hole in his heart and this was the only way he could cope without damaging his health in turn damaging his career.

"Kyungju..." Zen breathes out when the woman finally decides to let him go. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you, obviously!" Echo Girl answers giddily as she trails her hands down his chest and all the way down to the hem of his jeans, and Zen's breath hitches. The idol looks up at him through her lashes, her lips pursed in an inviting manner.

Before he knew it, Zen has already carried Echo Girl back to his room where he makes an effort not to look at your belongings that are still there. He roughly throws her down onto the bed, but she doesn't seem to mind. _If it had been you, he would have been more gentle and careful_. Soon enough, all articles of clothing are discarded and thrown haphazardly on the floor and he's kissing her everywhere.

But in the back of the young man's mind throughout this whole ordeal, he's trying not to remember that it's not _you_ he's sharing these touches with. Echo Girl's body doesn't have the same curves you do that Zen loves with his entire being. Her voice doesn't carry the same warmth as yours. She doesn't look at Zen with the same loving eyes as you; instead she stares with pure lust, smug satisfaction hiding just beneath them. Then, amidst all the feverish touches, Zen moans out a name. _Your_ name.

"What?" Echo Girl pauses for a moment, and Zen finally looks up at her confused.

"What's wrong Kyungju?" he asks, feigning innocence.

"What did you call me?" she answers his question with her own.

Zen smiles at her, and the idol is none the wiser that it was just his acting persona having come out. _If it was you, you would have known right away_. Zen ignores Echo Girl's question and kisses her, effectively distracting her from that dangerous train of thought. Zen knows what he accidentally called her, but he's already hurt you once from his actions. He doesn't need to hurt another woman by admitting that he only sees _you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently screaming after having written this. Will be back momentarily.  
> In all seriousness though, how would you guys want this to end? Do you want Zen and MC to get back together (happy ending), or do you want MC to move on leaving Zen with regrets as he continues to love her (angst/bittersweet ending)? There are still a few more chapters I have planned out before this ends, but I'd love to know what you guys want to read so I can start writing accordingly.


	5. Chapter 5

Just how many days— _weeks_ —has it been since you've found Zen and Echo Girl in the same bed together, naked and flushed against one another? You didn't want to be reminded of it, so you merely passed your days by without much thought that you've lost track of what day of the week it currently was. With the help of Jumin and V, as well as Elizabeth 3rd, you've managed to slowly pick the pieces of your broken self back up. It was a slow process, but the corporate heir was more than understanding and willing to offer you his aid. V was supportive of you too, visiting Jumin's penthouse as much as he can to keep you company while the raven-haired male was away at work. Other times, Elizabeth 3rd would curl up against you and allow you to stroke her soft fur for comfort.

A part of you felt guilty for not logging on the RFA messenger to chat with the other members, but you didn't want Zen to know about you just yet. He didn't bother chasing after you when you first came across that scene that will eternally be burned into the recesses of your mind, so why should you go out of your way to reassure him that you're alright, even though you really weren't? Emotionally, that is. From what Jumin told you, Zen looked like he was suffering as well the last time he saw him.

"Good," you spat with malice. "Maybe he can understand how I feel, though I highly doubt it." You didn't care if you were being spiteful and petty by being like this. The grief was too much for you to bear, so turning it into anger and directing it towards Zen was the only way you thought you could stay sane.

Seven was the first to find out about what happened. Jumin was the one that explained it to the hacker as Seven was the one most capable of finding out if he tried hard enough, and you wanted Seven to hear it from you rather than having to snoop around. Since then, Seven has been constantly checking up on you and sending you funny videos or pictures that might make you laugh. You could tell he was really trying to lift your mood back up, and you were more than thankful towards him.

Jaehee was the next to know. Since she worked closely to Jumin, it only made sense. When she heard the news, she was shocked and didn't know how to react. In truth, you didn't want Jaehee to find out about Zen's infidelity. After all, she idolized him, and you didn't want to ruin her image of him. Both Jumin and V made sure that she would keep her knowledge of it a secret, as per your request. The woman was confused for your reason why, but she decided not to pry. She couldn't imagine how it must be like for you, but it was nice to know that she cared.

Yoosung was still in the dark about the whole situation. Nobody had the heart to tell him, plus they were afraid that he might accidentally tell Zen your location when you wanted to keep it a secret for now. You trusted Yoosung, but for this, you didn't want to take any chances. It pained you to know that he was constantly asking for you on the messenger; it seems as though Zen hadn't come clean of his actions to Yoosung either, but the gamer did have his suspicions that something must have happened between you and the actor, almost accusing him for your disappearance. Yoosung wasn't that far off, honestly.

Even though you said you wanted to quit the RFA, you couldn't bring yourself to part with all the members just yet. You continued to mull over the idea as you slowly but surely started to become the person who you were once before. Of course, you weren't the same as back then, but it was close enough.

"...I'm thinking about picking up my stuff from Zen's apartment soon," you spoke up during dinner one late evening.

"Is that so?" Jumin asked, and you nodded in response. Jumin had finished his work early for that day, and so the two of you decided to eat together. The corporate heir was pleasant company when compared to the silence of whenever you ate alone with your thoughts drifting back to Zen and Echo Girl. "I'll have Driver Kim bring you over then. When do you plan to go?"

You hummed, thinking for a moment. "Sometime this week? I'm not too sure yet, but definitely soon."

"Alright, tell me when you've decided. Will you need assistance?"

You shook your head, "Most of the belongings, I shared with Zen, and I'd rather he keep them instead. So in the end, I really don't have much to bring. I'll be fine."

"And what about Zen?" Jumin continued with his interrogation. He needed to cover all grounds. You were already starting to look like your old self again, vibrant and full of life. The man didn't want to take any chances of having all your efforts of recovering shatter into pieces. "What if you come across him while you're gathering your belongings?"

"It's fine if he does; I don't really care anymore if he does find me or not," you admit. "Since I'll be leaving him for good anyways."

"Does that mean you'll be logging back into the RFA messenger?" Jumin asks, his voice sounding hopeful. He still doesn't like how there's bad blood between you and Zen, but at the very least, he's relieved that you're still sticking around the RFA.

You paused for a moment to think before offering him a small, albeit uncertain, smile. "Probably. I miss everyone."

Jumin nodded, satisfied with your answer. "They all miss you too, as I'm sure you know."

"Yeah... Say, Jumin?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you," you breathe out. "For looking out for me all this time. I really appreciate it."

The corporate heir chuckles at your words of gratitude, "You've thanked me more than enough times already, and I will say the same thing I've said before. Anything for a friend."

* * *

You take a deep breath as you stand in front of Zen's apartment. It used to be yours as well, but now it looked just as foreign as the first time you've visited, if not more so. You thank Driver Kim, telling him that you'll be fine on your own for now, so he nods and goes back to wait in the car. You're not too fond of having to make people wait for you, plus you don't want to stick around this place for too long, so you try to quickly get this done and over with.

Taking out your key from your pocket, you mentally prepare yourself. Slowly, you open the door and cautiously peer inside. You let out the breath you didn't even realize you were holding when it looked like Zen was nowhere to be found and firmly step inside. You close the door behind you before your eyes start to wander and inspect the place. Your belongings are still exactly as how you remembered leaving them, though you find that Zen hasn't been cleaning up after himself.

A part of you makes a mental note to scold him later before remembering that's no longer your place nor necessary for you to do so. Besides, you came here with another objective in mind. The silence was a bit too much for you, so you take out your earphones and start listening to some music to help keep you focused with the task at hand. You move to retrieve your suitcase and start to shove your personal belongings inside, starting with what was in the living room. Once you were done there, you hesitatingly move on to the bedroom.

Nausea fills you the moment you open the door. For a brief second, you see that scene on the bed flash before your eyes before you forcibly shake it away, your grip tightening on the doorknob. Taking another deep breath, you step inside and get to work. You kind of regret taking a deep breath, because in doing so, you've inhaled the scent of a perfume that you're not familiar with. You immediately assume it's Echo Girl's, and your face contorts to one of disgust, thinking that it must have been a really strong perfume to have lingered here for this long, unless—

Your hands stop moving just as you're about to pick up a blue piece of clothing from the bed. _This isn't yours_. You glance around for a second. Neither is that article of clothing yours. Nor that one. Realization starts to dawn on you, and you feel your anger start to bubble in your chest. You want to scream in frustration and make a mess of everything in sight, but you know that it would accomplish nothing, so you bite your tongue, kicking the bed just to let out the excess energy, and go back to gathering your things.

Just as you're about close to finishing up your task, you hear keys jangle at the door, and you freeze. Zen's back home. Not wanting to deal with him, especially after what you've found in your old— _his_ room, you turn the volume of the music you were listening to all the way to max. Sure, it might damage your ears, but it's much better than having what you built up for yourself come crashing down once more.

When the actor comes home early from work, he's at first wary on why the door was unlocked and cautiously peers inside, phone ready in hand just in case he needs to contact the authorities. The first thing he notices once he's inside is that your stuff is missing, whereas everything else has been left untouched. Zen's heart sinks, finding that the memories of you that had lingered are now gone, just like you. He then hears faint music playing from his bedroom, and when he goes to check, the first thing he wants to do is run up to you and hold you close when he spots your familiar figure.

He takes a step forward but stops when he sees the pain in your eyes. You're still packing your things, your shoulders tense, biting your lower lip as music blares from your earphones. At the very least, the young man is thankful that it looks like you've been taking care of yourself, even if it does look like you've lost some weight since he last saw you. He realizes and understands that it's his fault that you're like this, and Zen slowly walks up to you, cautiously placing a hand on your arm to get your attention.

You harshly pull away, almost as though the touch burned you, but you still refuse to look at Zen and go back to what you were doing. The young man realizes now that you're ignoring him, but he still tries to get you to at the very least acknowledge his presence. "Babe, please," he pleads amongst the loud music, moving to grab your arm again, but you quickly swat it away. Furrowing his eyebrows, Zen grabs your wrist, and you try to pull away but his grip is significantly stronger than you.

Frustrated, you yank the earphones out, allowing them to dangle down as you sharply turn your head, and Zen flinches, taking a step back when he sees the fire in your eyes. "What the _hell_ do you want?!"

You've been trying not to yell because you know it's not worth it, but this is the first time you've exchanged words with the actor since the incident, and everything you want to say threatens to boil over. Zen grimaces from your tone; it's one he has never heard before, and he hates how he's on the receiving end of it even if he does know he deserves it. "Please, listen to me."

"And why should I?" you ask, still furiously trying to pull away from Zen's unrelenting grip.

"I want to apologize," Zen whispers softly, and you finally stop struggling.

"I don't want to hear it." ...You really don't. If the actor apologizes, then it just confirms all his actions and everything's that happened. You hate it, but even now, a part of you still wants to deny this whole thing. You don't want to hear it, but you need it if you were going to move forward from this.

Zen apologizes anyways, despite your wishes because he knows that the two of you need him to apologize if he wants to mend this broken relationship. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

The sincerity in those simple words cause you to lose your strength; you would have fallen down to your knees had Zen not caught you in time to support your weight. You don't bother to try pulling away this time, feeling far too exhausted and defeated. "You didn't just _hurt_ me, Zen. You _broke_ me. I loved you, and you betrayed me and my trust. Do you even _know_ what it feels like to have the one that you love _throw away everything you've ever given them_?!"

"I'm sorry," Zen repeats, not knowing what else to say. He knows there are no words he could ever say to make things right again.

"It's _your_ fault," you blame him, weakly beating your firsts against the young man's chest. He doesn't fight against it and allows you to do so. If it would make you feel better, Zen would allow you to do anything to him. You could even go to kill him if you wanted, and Zen would accept it if it could help alleviate the heavy weight in your heart. He had hurt you, so it was only fair for him to allow you to hurt him.

"I know. I'm sorry..."

"It's all _your_ fault."

"It's my fault," Zen agrees as you start crying into his chest, no longer caring about looking weak in front of him. Zen looks at you, his heart clenching as he too starts to cry. He had never felt so much regret and guilt before in his life for his actions. Zen wasn't proud of his past, but _this_ was so much worse. When he first started picking himself up from his troubled past, he had vowed to become a better person. When he first started dating you, he had vowed that he would never hurt you. He had broken both of those, and now the young man had to deal with the consequences.

At the very least, Zen had kept one vow. _To always love you_. Even if he did cheat, and even if you did come to hate him, Zen had vowed that he would never stop loving you, and he intended to keep it this time. He had always loved you and will continue to love you.

The actor gently strokes your hair, whispering a multitude of apologies and words of how it's his fault in between broken sobs as you continue to soak his shirt with your tears. It's soothing, but you can't help but note the bitter feeling in it whereas you usually would have found comfort.

Finally, you find it in yourself to pull away, but Zen is reluctant to do so. Sensing his hesitation, you speak, wanting to confirm, "Zen, I hope you do know that we're over, right?"

You watch as the young man grimaces from your words before exhaling a shaky and defeated breath. "...I understand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a ridiculously long time debating if I wanted Zen to say "I know" or "I understand" at the end; I decided upon the latter as it better portrayed his position/thoughts towards you.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite your protests, Zen insisted on helping you out with your belongings. Eventually, you caved in as soon as his puppy dog eyes came out. You're still upset at him, but you can't find it in yourself to refuse those eyes, and a part of you is afraid that you never will even after his betrayal. Thankfully, Zen doesn't look at you with those eyes, asking for forgiveness or anything like that, and you're not too sure how you feel about that. You felt conflicted; on one hand, you were relieved that Zen was respecting your wish to break things off with him, but on the other hand, you wished that he would at least _try_ a bit more.

"Did you even love me?" the question leaves your mouth before you can stop them. The actor pauses in his actions and looks at you with what looks like to be disbelief in his eyes. The question lingers in the air as you bite your lip. Even if you didn't mean for the question to slip through, now that it was out there, you were anxious to hear his response.

"Yes," he breathed out, his shoulders sagging slightly. The young man's hand then went to clutch onto his other arm as he added, "And I still do."

His answer brings forth another question that you've been wondering for a long time now. " _Why_?" you choke back a sob, your hand flying to cover your mouth to prevent your voice from betraying you any more than that.

Zen stares at you for a moment, debating on what he should do. He lets go of his arm and reaches a hand out to you but stops mid-way when you recoil. Hurt flashes through his eyes but is nevertheless accepting. The actor's hand lingers in the air for a moment before he finally brings it back down, tightening it into a fist. He's frustrated and has way too much pent up energy, but he doesn't want to scare you away even more than this. The way your eyes looked at him was so... Zen furrowed his brows. He had always joked about how you should be careful around him since he was a wolf, but now you looked at him as though he was a _monster_. And to be frank, he truly felt like one.

You didn't deserve any of this. You were kind to him, supportive and loving, through and through. There were so many times you stayed by his side, even during diffcult times. _Especially_ during difficult times. Zen trusted you, and it was obvious that you trusted him too. You gave so much of yourself to him, and he ended up taking far too much without giving back. He never knew he could be so selfish.

Eventually, your voice speaks against the silence once more, breaking his self-pitying thoughts away. "You can't even answer?" you lightly scoff at his lack of response. "Or is it that you _refuse_ to answer? Was it a lie then? You loving me? Was that all a lie?" Ah, your emotions were starting to swirl again. You had thought you had already gotten over this, but apparently not. The longer you stared at that guilty expression of Zen's, your mind couldn't help but become overwhelmed with questions of _why_. 

You needed to know. Was it because of you? Did you perhaps not give him enough love and attention? Were you being annoying? Was he just tired of you? Did he even love you in the first place? Was he just using you until something better came along? Were you not good enough?

_Were you the reason why he decided to cheat on you in the first place?_

You didn't want to think that it was your fault. You respected yourself enough to not blame yourself, but the thought had planted itself deep inside you. Unable to nip it with Zen's answer, that thought grew and festered inside you. If you didn't cut off this root now, you were certain that it would end up killing you.

"It wasn't a lie," Zen answered you, trying to get a word in amidst your barrage of questions.

"Then _why_?! Why did you cheat on me?! Why with _Echo Girl_ of all people?! Speaking of, you still haven't actually broken it off with her, did you?!" you were yelling at the top of your lungs now as your emotions crashed over you once again, not caring if the neighbours heard you or not. You accusingly pointed a finger towards the bedroom where you found women's pieces of clothing that you _knew_ did not belong to you. "Those are her clothes, aren't they?! There are way too many in there to have been just from one time, _Hyun_! Hell, why the _fuck_ is it even still there?!!"

The actor flinched from the rare use of his real name. He abandoned that name a long time ago and decided to go as "Zen" as the memories assosciated with the name "Hyun" were far from favourable to him. But you had wanted to change that mindset of his, wanting him to start assosciating that name with new and happier memories with you. The young man's heart clenched now that he had another bad memory to go along with his real name.

You waited for Zen to speak, deciding that if he didn't answer soon, then you wouldn't bother anymore. You would merely accept your own thoughts as the truth because you have given the actor more than enough chances to explain himself. Your eyes watched scrutinizingly as Zen took a deep breath.

"I—" Zen started but stopped quickly afterwards to clear his throat when the word came out sounding extremely shaky and vulnerable. He tried again. "I wasn't thinking, the first time it happened." You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest and biting your tongue to allow him to continue. "I know, it sounds like an excuse, but I just—Kyungju had been pestering me for a long time during work, constantly clinging to me and trying to win me over despite our past. I don't know where she got that new resolve, thinking that the both of us were finally past that scandal incident and thinking that the two of us could even get together."

"...I remember you complaining to me about her," you said quietly. "I was actually tempted to ask Jumin if he could somehow get a restraining order against her."

Zen smiles softly at the memory, "You actually _were_ close to calling him one time before you said that you remembered I didn't like solving problems with just money and influence alone."

"I believed in you..." you breathed out, exhausted, now that the two of you were finally talking about this upfront. "I had complete faith in you that you would be able to pull through Echo Girl's persistence on your own without any trouble."

"I know, and I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough."

"Don't apologize." That's not what you wanted to hear right now, and even if you did blame Zen, you didn't want him to start hating and doubting himself because of this. "Just tell me what happened."

"...Right," Zen sighed before continuing, "it happened all so quickly; I was having difficulty getting this one scene down. I was getting frustrated, holding everyone back that I had to take a break in the dressing room. Kyungju came over, being as persistent as ever. I really wasn't in the mood to put up with her at the time, so to get her to stop bothering me, I..."

The actor trailed off, so you finished his sentence for him, "so you fucked her? In your dressing room? Just to get her to stop?"

"I was acting on my emotions; I wasn't thinking," Zen tried to reason before groaning. "No, I'm sorry. I'm sure that sounds like nothing more than an excuse. I'm sorry, I—"

"What about all those other times though? What about when I..."

_When you first discovered them together_.

The actor bit his lower lip as his expression twisted to one of anguish. "Kyungju, she...she used the first time it happened against me. Apparently she was recording it the entire time on her cell phone. She said if I didn't give in to her demands, she would release the voice clip to the public."

"Wait, s-so she _blackmailed_ you?!" you suddenly felt extremely dizzy from this new piece of information, and you had to sit down on the couch to fully process it. "Seriously? Why didn't you tell me...?"

A wry smile made its way onto Zen's lips, "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. It was my fault, and I thought I could fix it by myself."

You let out a shaky breath as you slowly tried to let Zen's words sink in. Admittedly, you had to hand it to Echo Girl to actually learn from her previous mistake and get evidence she could use for once, but you were still absolutely furious at the woman. But there were other thoughts you needed to tend to first. How did this new piece of information affect how you felt towards Zen? In the end, he had still betrayed you, and you were hurt that he didn't trust in you enough to tell you the truth. Or maybe he really did want to and you just didn't bother listening to him until now?

You abruptly stood up from the couch, surprising Zen who had been watching you, waiting to see how you would react. You mechanically grabbed your belongings and started heading out the door, hesitating for just one brief moment to place your key on the nearby table on your way out.

"I need some time to think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I need time to think because as I said at the very beginning of this fic, I have no idea where I want to go with this, and I need some time to properly think about the direction I should take this in instead of fumbling about now that mostly everything's finally out in the open.  
> I'd really love to know what you guys think about Zen's reason for cheating and your current thoughts on the fic overall so I know what to focus on.


	7. Chapter 7

Zen watched with a pained expression as you left his apartment, deep in thought. Once he heard the door shut and was left alone with nothing but silence and his thoughts, the actor heaved a sigh, falling down haphazardly to sit on his couch, burying his face in his hands. He took several deep breaths as he tried to stop his shaking.

_"I told her. I finally told her."_

Those were the only thoughts that kept on repeating in Zen's mind. He was relieved to have finally gotten his explanation out. He was relieved to see that you were safe and doing well (for the most part), even without him. The guilt that he felt the very first time he cheated with Echo Girl had grown and festered so much within him. Even if Echo Girl did blackmail him to continue with his acts of infidelity, he couldn't deny that it was his fault in the first place. If he had just trusted in you more. If he hadn't let his emotions get the best of him. If he had just pushed Echo Girl away the first time.

It was too late for _ifs_. What was done is done, and Zen understood and accepted if you didn't want to get back together with him. He wanted it, _god_ , he wanted nothing more than to be in the loving relationship he was with you again, but he didn't deserve it. You deserved someone so much better than him, but that didn't stop him from wishing all the same. That didn't stop him from wanting to mend the broken relationship to at least something that wouldn't have you backing away from him every time he tried to so much as speak with you.

The actor's thoughts started to wander the longer he was left alone with the agonizing silence. He shifted around on the couch, swinging his legs over to prop them over the armrest and moving to lay his back against the other sde. The young man lifted an arm, allowing it to drape over his eyes. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally. This whole situation was so draining to Zen, but whenever he thought about how much worse it must be for you, he couldn't help but beat himself up for complaining. _He had no right..._ Zen felt his eyelids grow heavier and heavier, sleep—something he's barely had enough of for a long while now—inviting and coaxing him.

* * *

* * *

Zen groaned to himself as he shut the door of his dressing room behind him. What was with him today? Why couldn't he get the scene right? The actor pulled out his phone from his bag, hoping that there would be an open chatroom for him to join in; unfortunately, there wasn't. Since nobody was online, Zen pulled up his photos instead and started scrolling through the several photos he took of you. By "several", it was more like thousands. The amount of photos he had of you—some taken without you knowing—practically rivaled with the same amount as his selfies. Zen smiled dreamily to himself as he stared at your photo, bringing the screen close to his face and giving it a quick kiss.

It might have been embarrassing to others, but for Zen, he just couldn't resist. He loved you way too much. Even now, you didn't fail to lift up his mood. The male chuckled softly to himself when he heard a faint knock on the door. The young man put his phone down to answer the door.

"Do you need something, Kyungju?" Zen peered down at the young woman before him. He tried not to let the irritation show on his face, but it definitely slipped into the tone with his words.

Echo Girl allowed herself inside Zen's dressing room. He really didn't want to deal with her right now, but Echo Girl was still a woman and a co-worker in this production, so the actor still tried to be polite to her. Plus, he's already holding back the rest of the cast and crew with his screw-ups; it would be bad if he made a scene now. The idol walked around the small dressing room, humming softly to herself as she inspected the room while Zen watched her, waiting for her to speak.

After a few moments, Zen sighed, "If you have nothing to say or do here, Kyungju, then please leave—"

Echo Girl walked up to the actor and grabbed his arm, clutching it and pushing it against her chest. Zen stopped himself from rolling his eyes. _Not this again_. The idol giggled to herself, "Lovely Zen, you're upset aren't you? From rehearsal? Do you need me to comfort you?"

"I appreciate the offer, but my girlfriend is more than enough comfort for me," Zen smiled at the thought of you. It was true. He didn't need anybody else to help make him feel better when he already had such a wonderful and supporting girlfriend.

"But she's not here now," Echo Girl insisted, trailing the finger of her other hand down the young man's chest, and he grabbed her wrist, pulling it away as he tried to detach himself from the idol's grip, but she was persistent. "She can't comfort you... _physically_ , right now, if you know what I mean." Zen frowned at the young woman before him. She definitely changed in more ways than one since the last time she tried to start a scandal on him, and quite frankly, he was annoyed at it. The actor opened his mouth to speak, but Echo Girl interrupted him. "I'm not letting you go. No matter what you say or do, I'm not letting you go."

"What do you _want_ , Kyungju?" Zen was getting even more and more irritable the longer Echo Girl overstayed her welcome.

"I think you already know what I want," Echo Girl breathed out, and she pushed herself against Zen even more. "Make love to me."

"I have a girlfriend—"

"Then _fuck me_. There doesn't need to be any emotional attachment to it. Just fuck me, just this once, and that's it."

Zen growled. This was _not_ the situation he expected himself to be in. He was tired and annoyed and furious all at once. He was too emotional at the moment, having those swirling emotions cloud his rationality. And as much as he hated it, Echo Girl's body pressed against his own like this had his body reacting by itself. Even if he felt nothing towards Echo Girl, it was still a physiological response. Seeing the conflict in his eyes, the idol ground her hips against Zen's for good measure. _Fuck_. Zen snapped.

* * *

"By the way," Echo Girl paused at the doorway, turning around to give Zen a small, satisfied smile, "We're resuming practice in a few minutes, so you should start getting ready."

The actor furrowed his eyebrows, snarling, as the scent of the aftermath of what had just transpired filled the room. What had he done? Oh _god_ , what the hell just happened and what did he do? He— The actor flinched from the memory, lifting his hand up to cover his mouth. He was absolutely _disgusted_ with himself. How on earth could he have done that? How on earth could he have betrayed you like that? Zen let out a shuddering breath as he finally managed to stand up, walking to the door to head back to rehearsal.

_How could he?_

After what happened in his dressing room, Zen fumbled even more with his lines and acting than he did before. He was still trying to process what he had done, his mind far too occupied to focus on anything else. In the end, the others decided to wrap up for the day, and Zen felt even worse for doing such a poor job with work. But now that he no longer had work for a distraction, he started to think about what he would say to you. How would you react? Can he even bring himself to tell you? ...No, he _had_ to. He needed to be honest with you, even if he was disappointed in himself, and the actor had no doubt that you would be disappointed in him too.

Zen was still trying to think about how to bring it up with you by the time he had gotten home. He felt guilty for being relieved when you hadn't gone to greet him at the door like you usually did, but he needed to tell you. You deserved to know, and you had the right to decide on whether or not you would still want to be with him after his mistake. Zen felt fear and dread start to rise in his chest when he went to look for you.

"Babe?" he softly called out as he opened the bedroom door. You were nowhere else to be found, so he assumed that you were in bed, playing on your phone or something.

"Zen? You're back already?" you asked when you heard his voice. You coughed before flashing him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well right now. Do you think you can make dinner by yourself?" The actor was immediately by your side, pulling you into a soft and gentle embrace. You tried to push him away, "Zen, no. I'm sick; I don't want you getting sick too. ...And I don't care if you've never caught a cold before. I don't want to take any chances!"

The actor chuckled softly at your consideration, placing a small kiss on the crown of your head. "I'm sorry," he apologized. Even if you weren't sure what he was apologizing for exactly, Zen felt the need to apologize. He was sorry for having cheated on you. He was sorry for not being able to tell you what he's done. For now, at least. The timing just isn't right, what with you sick and all. Zen promised himself he would tell you when you were feeling better. ...No, wasn't he just running away from the responsibility?

Zen pulled away from you, feeling disgusted with himself. He shouldn't indulge himself in you and your comfort. Not after what he's done. You look at him with curious eyes, and he mutters out another small apology before excusing himself to make dinner for the both of you. The young man shuts the door behind him, and frustrated, he kicks at the couch before weakly crumbling down to his knees, muttering out apologies over and over again.

_He needs to tell you. He **has** to tell you._

* * *

The guilt is eating him alive, and Echo Girl isn't making it any better. Zen's eyes widen when he hears the voice recording on Echo Girl's phone. It doesn't play all the way through, but just enough for proof, before Echo Girl puts the phone away in her pocket. Zen regrets not snatching it away from her right then and there, and the idol smiles sweetly at him while he glowers. From there, everything spiraled.

Zen hates it. He hates how Echo Girl managed to do all of this as she continues to use him and _play_ with him. The actor had tried so many times to sneak her phone away to delete the evidence, but she was thorough. Just when and how did she get this thorough? Besides, even if Zen _did_ find a way to delete the recording from the idol's phone, he had no way of knowing if she had an extra copy somewhere else. It was getting to be too much for Zen to handle by himself; he still hadn't told you anything, but the _guilt_ —

Every time Zen would try to bring it up, his throat would constrict and words would fail to leave him. He was terrified. What if you left him? Sure, it might have been done on impulse, but that was still no excuse. Cheating was still cheating. How many times had Zen left the shared bed in the middle of the night, unable to bear the weight of his actions when you slept so peacefully and unaware beside him? You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve him.

That day, Zen had finally found the resolve to tell you. He wouldn't run away anymore as he mentally prepared himself. So when you came home early that day, Zen didn't know what to think or do. Oh god, if only he had told you way before, you wouldn't have found out this way. If he had only told you earlier, then maybe you would have forgiven him and helped him through Echo Girl's blackmail. The actor wanted to go after you before Echo Girl reminded him of what she had on hand. He no longer cared; he needed to apologize.

"She's probably already gone," Echo Girl said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

And she was right. But that still didn't stop Zen from trying to contact you afterwards. Calls. Texts. Sure, he could have explained everything via text and whatnot, but this kind of thing should be done face-to-face. Zen sobbed on the phone, desperately pleading for you to give him a chance to apologize and explain his side of the story. You didn't need to forgive him, but Zen wanted to at the very least apologize to you for his wrongdoings. 

Since you've disappeared, the RFA had been pestering him for answers on what happened. Zen debated on telling them, but he decided against it for now. The person who should hear everything from him first should be you, then he'll explain everything to the others. Zen felt so empty; it was hard to find the energy to do anything. But he did. For you. For the hope that you'll maybe find it in yourself to one day give him the chance to talk. He was alone now. He needed to deal with Echo Girl all by himself now.

This all happened because of one error in his judgement. He needed to face through this alone.

_It was his fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people don't think I'm trying to make them pity Zen in this chapter or anything like that, but I do hope that you can at the very least see and try to understand the guilt and remorse he felt. Yes, cheating is cheating no matter what, but sometimes it's difficult to see the inner turmoil of the one cheating after the event, especially if it was done impulsively.  
> Touchy subject with no concrete answer of what's right or wrong, but I hope I delivered this part well. ~~Omg, this was just supposed to be a simple infidelity fic; how did it spiral into this?~~


	8. Chapter 8

"How did it go?" You jumped in surprise from V's voice, not expecting him to be at Jumin's penthouse upon your return. The photographer laughed lightly at your reaction before offering a small and gentle smile, apologizing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Jumin told me that you went to Hyun's place to gather your belongings, and I thought you might like the company once you came back."

You returned V's smile, setting down your bags on the floor, deciding to put them away later. "That's very sweet of you. Thank you."

"So, how was it?" V repeated his initial question, and you sighed.

Seeing your exhausted visage, the photographer gently took you by the arm and led you to the couch where you sank down and allowed your head to lean back, covering your eyes with an arm. "I bumped into Zen while getting my stuff."

You felt movement from beside you and assumed that V had taken a seat as well, but you were too tired to bother checking. "How did that go?"

You furrowed your eyebrows as you thought about your answer, "We talked...surprisingly civil enough. ...Apparently Echo Girl's blackmailing him."

"Apparently?" V pressed further.

Shrugging your shoulders, you answered, "He could be lying for all I know just to make himself look like a victim or something."

"...Do you believe him?"

"I don't know," you admitted, your eyes starting to sting as you realized again just how you felt right now towards Zen. Who knew losing the trust in someone you had loved would hurt _this_ much? "Before, I would have believed him without a doubt, but now...now I'm not so sure. A part of me wants to believe in him because I know him. Or at least, I _thought_ I knew him. How am I supposed to believe anything he says now? How am I supposed to believe anything _anyone_ says now?"

You bit your lower lip, form shaking as you tried to suppress your sobs. How many times have you cried now ever since you discovered Zen cheating on you? You thought you would have gotten over everything by now, days and weeks passing by, but you still felt bitter about the whole thing. Just then, you felt a warm hand gently patting your head. Curious, you finally looked up to the photographer beside you.

"V...?"

"I know," he spoke quietly, voice wavering slightly. "I think I can understand how it feels like, doubting the person that you loved. It's painful, but I know you can get through this. You're strong. You've supported the RFA countless times before; I have faith that you can do the same for yourself too."

You sniffled, taking a moment to process V's words. Slowly, you wiped away your tears with the back of your hand and allowed yourself to lean a bit closer to V's touch, enjoying his comfort. "Thanks, V. I appreciate it."

* * *

You took a deep breath, hesitating slightly as your shaking finger hovered over the RFA app on your phone. It's been a few days since you've started joining the chats in the RFA again, but you've still been avoiding Zen whenever he was on or logging off whenever he joined the chat. You knew you couldn't keep this up though; if both you and Zen were going to continue being in the RFA, then you would have to face him in the chatroom _some_ day. Initially, you did plan on leaving the RFA, but all the other members were your friends too. Why did _you_ have to be the one to give them up just because of Zen? You loved Zen, sure, but you loved the RFA too, and you refused to let them go. Taking one more deep breath, you tapped the screen on your phone.

> _**\---You have joined the chatroom.---** _
> 
> _[Name], you're here..._
> 
> _Yeah._   
> 
> 
> _It's nice to see you here again._

You paused, not knowing how to respond to that. Apparently Zen didn't know how to continue either, the chatroom having a long lull that you almost thought that the app had froze had it not been for the blinking cursor indicating otherwise. Thankfully, Yoosung had joined in the chat just before it became too awkward and stifling.

> _[Name]! You're here again!_
> 
> _Hello Yoosung!_   
> 
> 
> _We missed you! I missed you!_
> 
> _I'm sorry for worrying everyone._   
> 
> 
> _It's not your fault, don't worry!_

You stared at Yoosung's response. Zen still hasn't said anything, but he was without a doubt flinching at the student's words. If it wasn't your fault—which it wasn't, you were thankful to have finally admitted to yourself—then surely it must have been Zen's, the other person involved in the whole situation.

> _Oh yeah, Zen, how's the blackmail issue with Echo Girl going?_
> 
> _Seven said he's looking into it._

It seemed as though after your encounter with Zen back at the apartment, the actor had finally explained the whole situation to the RFA members. You weren't in the chatroom when it happened, but your phone exploded with multiple concerned texts and calls from the others. It made your heart swell, knowing that you had such supportive friends by your side. You talked a lot with them, voicing out your own thoughts and opinions along with their own about how to proceed from here on out. They had given you so much advice; some that you were more than happy to take, others that you decided against.

Slowly, and little by little, you were recovering from the heartbreak with Zen. It felt nice and refreshing, seeing and feeling the improvement within yourself. V was right; you _were_ able to pick yourself back up. A part of you felt guilty for ever doubting the photographer. Not wanting to get too lost in your thoughts, you brought your attention back to the chatroom where Yoosung was now talking about his latest achievement in LOLOL, making you smile.

Just then, you felt something soft rub against your leg. It was Elizabeth 3rd. You smiled softly at the creature and picked her up without any fuss. You had been staying at Jumin's penthouse for quite some time now that the cat had already started to consider your presence a normal thing. You knew you couldn't stay at Jumin's for too long though. Even if he said it was fine, you felt guilty for imposing. Your eyes glanced towards the clock.

> _Oh, hey. Sorry, but I have to go feed Elizabeth now.  
> _

You took a quick picture of the feline and sent it on the messenger. Almost immediately, Zen started spamming the chat to try to get rid of the picture and talking about his allergies. It was a bit fun to watch, and you gave a slight smirk at his discomfort before logging out. It might have been a small and petty act for vengeance on your part, but it was fun and a bit comforting nonetheless to see something familiar from Zen. The moment the thought crossed your mind, you felt reassured.

_You can do this._

If you were able to spend some time with Zen and consider it fun, then surely you would be able to move forward from this. You didn't know where your relationship with Zen would go from here on out, but you had faith in yourself that you would be able to move on. Just as soon as you placed the bowl full of Elizabeth 3rd's food down for her to eat, your phone vibrated with a new text from Zen.

_"Would you be available to meet up some time today? I want to talk."_

You furrowed your eyebrows as your fingers tapped over the keys, _"Can't we just text?"_

_"I think it'd be better for the both of us to talk in person."_

A heavy sigh escaped your lips. You didn't have to do this, but you already had an idea of what it was that the actor wanted to discuss, plus you yourself had something to say to him, so you reluctantly agreed. _"Where?"_

_"Wherever you're comfortable with."_

You gave a small hum in thought. At the very least, Zen was being considerate. You weren't really in the mood to go to his apartment, nor did you think it would be a good idea for the young man to visit Jumin's penthouse. Considering what the two of you would be talking about, you thought it would be inappropriate to meet up in a public space. There was also the possibility of having your discussion with Zen being interrupted by fans since he's grown fairly popular within the time the two of you have been together. You've considered many options before one place in particular popped into your mind.

_"Then, I'll see you at Rika's apartment later."_

It was the place where everything started for you, and you thought it to be the perfect place to end your relationship with Zen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention, but for this fic, the extent of knowledge MC and the other characters have regarding the mysteries surrounding the RFA and hacker only go up to how much they know/find out by the end of Zen's route. So there really shouldn't be _any_ spoilers from the other routes/secret ends. I know that I included V when he really isn't "supposed" to be here, but let's just ignore that small divergence, whoops.


	9. Chapter 9

Even though you told Zen that you'd be willing to meet up at Rika's apartment, it only occurred to you after you had sent the text that you should have asked Seven or even V first. After all, the apartment was never really yours to come and go into, especially since it contained highly classified material that no one but V or Seven were allowed to see. At the same time however, you still felt a bit uneasy due to the terrifying events that transpired near the date of the party the first time you stayed there. In any case, it was the only place you could think of that you would be comfortable in to meet with Zen, so you sent Seven a quick text, explaining the situation.

 _"I'll have to ask V first. If he says no, then I'll try to convince him,"_ the hacker responded. He worked quickly as just a few minutes later, Seven had given you the okay, reminding you not to touch any of the drawers or much of anything else.

With that out of the way, you decided to get dressed and quickly checked the weather forecast. Apparently a storm would be arriving soon. A quick glance outside the windows, the dark clouds confirmed it to be true; it still looked like you'd have some time before it hits though so that you could go to Rika's apartment, talk with Zen, and then come back.

* * *

It felt a bit strange to you, punching in the keys to the passlock outside Rika's apartment. It had been a while, and you couldn't help but feel nostalgic once you stepped inside. Your eyes swept over the place; this was where it all started. Where you first met the RFA. Where you first met Zen. Where you first fell in love with him the more you talked with him on the messenger. It looked like the actor hadn't arrived yet, so you took that moment to just reminisce, collect your thoughts, and mentally prepare yourself for what was to come.

You're not sure how long you were waiting for Zen as you were so deep into your thoughts, but eventually there was a knock on the door. Sure enough, it was the actor himself, and you allowed him in. The young man flashed you a small smile as you shut the door behind him. Seeing Zen in Rika's apartment brought back memories of the day he saved you and confessed his love for you. There was a small pang of hurt at the memory, but you didn't cry. If anything, you just felt melancholic as both you and Zen made yourselves comfortable, sitting opposite each other.

There was an awkward silence in the air once the two of you exchanged the usual pleasantries. The words that the both of you wanted to say hung quietly in the air. Unable to take it for much longer, you finally spoke. "So? What did you want to talk about?"

You saw Zen jump slightly in his seat from your voice. It seemed as though he was deep in thought before you spoke. The actor clasped his hands tightly together in front of him, eyebrows knotting together as he tried to find the words. "I wanted to apologize—"

"You've already apologized," you interrupted him, having enough of his apologies. You've moved past that already.

Zen continued, "...and I wanted to know if you would be willing to give our relationship another chance."

"Are you _serious_?" you asked, sounding completely shocked and insulted. "I thought I've already made it clear that we're over. Zen, you can _not_ be seriously asking me that after what you've done."

"I'm serious," the young man responded, his tone matching his words. "I know I did wrong, but please... if not that, at the very least, can you tell me what I could do so that you could stop hating me?"

Your expression softened at his question, casting your gaze downwards, "I don't...I don't _hate_ you. I'm mad at you, and I feel betrayed by you, but I don't hate you. I don't think I could ever hate you, and that— _that's_ what I hate. I hate that after all you've done, I don't think that I could ever hate you..."

"...Can you forgive me?"

You shook your head, your expression twisting to one of confusion, "I honestly don't know. I can accept your apology, but I don't know if I can or will ever forgive you."

Zen stared at you, your eyes still glued to the floor, but you could feel his intense gaze on you. Just outside the window, you can hear the heavy rain and harsh winds start to grow. It did a splendid job in filling in the silence between you and the actor. A few moments later, you heard Zen breathe out a sigh before asking one other question, "Then...can you promise me that you will be happy, even without me?"

"I will," you answered confidently with no hesitation, bringing your gaze upwards once more to show Zen your conviction. You _know_ you can and _will_ be happy even if Zen was no longer in the future you once envisioned.

At that, Zen smiled softly. There was a lingering sadness in his eyes, but his smile was more than accepting at your response. "In that case, that's more than good enough for me. Thank you. And I swear to you, I will do _everything_ I can to make up for what I did to you."

"I can't believe your words," you replied dryly, causing Zen's expression to falter, but you continued. "I can't believe your words, but I won't dismiss your efforts either, so...good luck."

To your ears, that last bit of your sentence had sounded quite sarcastic, but it was true that you weren't going to actively push Zen away. He had been such an important person in your life, you highly doubted that you could cut him away from your life entirely. Surely you would keep your distance, but being part of the RFA together, you knew there was no avoiding it completely, and you accepted that. It was reluctant, but it was an acceptance all the same.

The young man nodded at your words, unable to trust his voice. He felt so relieved and happy that he still had a chance of mending your relationship. Without a doubt, Zen wasn't expecting to be able to bring the relationship back to the way it was before, but at the very least, he still had a chance to mend it to something where the two of you could at least be comfortable with each other. Trust is not so easily gained, and yet it's so easy to lose. Zen understood that he would have to work from the ground up—no, even more than that—to bring the relationship back to at least what it was when you first joined the RFA, but he was willing and determined. He didn't deserve your kindness, but since you had given it, he promised to work extremely hard for it. He promised he would not let your kindness go to waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the short chapter.  
> The next chapter will be the last; or if it gets too long, I'll split it, but FOFI is very much nearing its end. I would have wanted to write a bit more, but I think I've spent more than enough time on this fic and don't want to drag it out unnecessarily.


	10. Chapter 10

To your surprise, Zen did indeed keep true to his word. He worked hard to gain your trust, offering whatever help whenever but also backing away if he became too overbearing. Thankfully, Zen knew how to read the atmosphere, so he had no difficulty toning down his efforts to gain back your trust, though there were times you had to explicitly tell him to back off.

For the most part, however, your relationship with Zen was more or less starting to become stable again. There were times you enjoyed his company, having gone back to the days when the two of you were able to smile and laugh with each other like there was no tomorrow. But there were also times you needed the space from him, still feeling bitter from what he's done. Ups and downs. Push and pull. Give and take.

It was difficult the first time around. Uncertainty and awkwardness hung in the air as you and Zen tried to determine the level of comfort your current relationship standing would allow. You were able to at least be able to look at him and maintain a conversation on the messenger, but face-to-face, you could only manage a couple of minutes before becoming too exhausted to continue. It was definitely a slow process, but Zen wasn't giving up any time soon.

It was almost endearing, in a way, seeing him work so hard for you. Watching him, you could tell he truly regretted his actions and was willing to give it his all to make it up to you. Initially, you had assumed the actor was doing it merely for himself as repentance, but the more time passed by, the more you realized that he was doing it more for you. For you to be able to move on from him, smiling from your previous relationship.

And that's what you did. You smiled. Perhaps not at Zen, but nevertheless, you were smiling again, and that's all that mattered to the both of you. You were able to spend more time with your friends and even become much more satisfied with your work. You were even able to find your own place to stay in!

"I could hire some people to help with your bags, you know," Jumin casually stated as he watched you do your final checks on your belongings.

"I don't have that much stuff; it's fine," you laughed at the male, grateful for his kind consideration. "Thank you so much for letting me crash at your place for so long, by the way. I _truly_ appreciate it."

Jumin gave a small hum in return, not quite satisfied with your refusal for his aid. In a way, he thought of you and Zen similar in that aspect, but the corporate heir decided to hold his tongue on that comment. Instead, he cleared his throat and waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "You were a friend in need. It's the least I can do. You've even helped look after Elizabeth 3rd."

You straighten yourself up, having finished with your packing. "I had to do _something_ or else I would've felt bad for imposing."

It felt as though you were overstaying your welcome at Jumin's penthouse, and now that you were back on your feet, you felt compelled to start looking for somewhere to permanently stay in. Finally, you were starting in a new place. It was a small apartment, but it was affordable. Plus it was in more or less the centre of where the other RFA members stayed, so you could visit any one of them whenever you wanted. Your new place lacked a lot of furnishings, but at the very least, it had all the essentials functioning properly. But the other RFA members were having absolutely none of that.

"Seven, why on earth do you have so much extra furniture?" you asked in disbelief as you watched the hacker try to carry a couch inside along with Yoosung.

Both Yoosung and Seven dropped the couch to catch their breaths. The red-head looked up at you and answered between pants, "a hacker never reveals his secrets. ... _God_ , who knew furniture could be so heavy?"

"I'm _dying_ ," Yoosung joined in, whining, on the verge of collapsing.

You couldn't help but laugh at the two and decided to sit down on the couch that they had temporarily settled down. "Hm, so weak."

"That's because those two don't exercise enough," a new voice chimed in.

Zen walked back out from your apartment, having just finished moving tons of other furnishings inside by himself. Even after all that work, he had barely worked up a sweat while Yoosung and Seven were heaving beside you. The two still had the energy to flash the middle finger towards the actor though, prompting you to let out another laugh before hopping off the couch.

"Alright then, you should have no problems carrying this couch in by yourself," you challenged the actor with a glint in your eyes.

"Yeah!" both Yoosung and Seven chorused in agreement.

"Now that's just expecting too much from me."

Your small group bantered a bit longer before deciding to team up to bring in the heavier objects. It was a shame that Jaehee and Jumin couldn't be there, far too busy with work. They didn't have to help with the moving, but it would've been fun to have them join in on the banter as well. The two had sharp tongues that could definitely be entertaining at times.

"I regret declining Jumin's offer and saying we could do this all by ourselves," Yoosung breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as he allowed himself to lie face first on the cool floor.

"You're the ones that wanted to prove your manliness," you replied, feet padding on the floor as you headed towards the kitchen to retrieve some drinks for the males' hard work. "And hey, you _did_ do everything by yourselves, so you should feel proud of yourselves."

"You could have helped more, y'know," Seven grumbled, "instead of just watching us and cheer from the sidelines."

"And make a woman do all that hard work?" Zen answered for you.

"Yeah Seven," you chimed in right afterwards with a playful lilt, repeating after the actor to emphasize his point, "and make a woman like me do all that work?"

In truth, you had no problems with helping with the moving, but watching Seven and Yoosung struggle with the furniture was an amusing sight, you couldn't help but decide to stay on the sidelines, taking pictures and videos to possibly use as potential blackmail material in the future if needed.

Blackmail.

That was the thing Zen said Echo Girl had on him to "persuade" him to continue cheating on you. You didn't believe his words at first, but Seven had managed to hack into the idol's phone and retrieve the recording. The hacker was reluctant to play it for you, but you insisted, wanting proof and closure on the whole thing. Seven was able to successfully delete the recording from Echo Girl's phone and even double checked that there were no extra copies on hand. You remembered chiding Zen afterwards, mockingly telling him that it was _that easy_ had he just come clean about the whole thing and asked for help before the whole situation could spiral out of his control.

A part of you still resented Zen for that. There were still questions you had, and you were certain that Zen still had more to say about what happened, but that was all in the past now. Maybe not everything could be resolved that easily and cleanly—maybe it never will, but you've learned how to heal. You've learned how to look past Zen's mistakes and take steps to overcome that heavy burden. They might have been small steps, but they were still steps in the right direction.

You shake your head, clearing your thoughts as you bring each male a drink for them to replenish their thirst. Zen smiles at you as he graciously accepts the drink, making sure not to accidentally brush his fingers against yours. Your relationship with the actor has improved quite a bit since before. You were much more friendly, chatting with him and laughing with him about silly things. However, you still refused to touch him and kept a reasonable distance from each other at times. You could see the hurt that would flash in his eyes, but was accepting all the same.

You spent that night comfortably at peace in your new home. Everything felt so strangely new; it was refreshing and just felt nice overall. You wondered what the new days would bring, and you were excited for them. Feeling far too energetic to fall asleep, you decide to take out your phone to see if anybody else was online.

 

>   _"[Name], it's so nice to see you here."_  
>  _"How's the new place?"_
> 
>   
>  _"Very homey! I like it!"_
> 
>   
>  _"I'm still sore from all the moving..."_  
>  _"Elizabeth 3rd misses you."_
> 
>   
>  _"Aww, I miss her too!"_
> 
>   
>  _"Ugh, can we please not talk about that furball?"_

Despite Zen's word, Jumin sent a picture attachment of the feline. Just immediately after the picture popped up on the messenger, Zen had filled the chat with lots of spam to get rid of it on his screen. You laughed wholeheartedly at his behaviour. Just when the actor thought it was fine and he could breathe again, you decided to tease him and sent your own picture of Elizabeth that you had taken during your stay at Jumin's penthouse. Zen momentarily sulked about having everyone team up on him before offering a quick 'good night' and promptly logged out.

 

> _“I'm glad that you and Zen are on good terms once more.”_

Jaehee's sudden comment prompted you to raise an eyebrow as you thought about what to say. After about a minute of pure silence and inactivity on the chat (perhaps the others were waiting for you to speak), you typed out your response. Maybe it was due to the late hour, but you somehow found yourself openly speaking your thoughts.

 

> _"To be honest, I am too."_   
>  _"I mean, I still haven't forgiven Zen, but..."_   
>  _"It feels good to be able to enjoy his company again."_   
>  _"He might have cheated on me, but at the end of the day, he's kind and hardworking."_   
>  _"I haven't forgotten that."_

You sighed to yourself, taking a moment to try to piece together your thoughts once more.

 

> _"Plus he's really improved himself since then."_   
>  _"It's kinda nice to see him working so hard to become a better person."_   
>  _"I don't know how to explain it, but I guess I sort of feel competitive towards him now than anything else."_   
>  _"Like I don't want to be the only one left behind."_   
>  _"Like I can do a better job than him in moving forward."_

The chatroom became quiet once more as the other occupants tried to let your words sink in. The silence stretched for a bit longer and you debated on whether or not you should log off now, but then Jaehee decided to finally speak.

 

> _"I can't say I understand, but I'm glad that both you and Zen have improved."_  
>  _"Yeah! I'm glad too! You and Zen are both really important to me, so I'm glad the two of you are talking again."_  
>  _"Hm, I should go to sleep now. [Name], you should too if you want to feel refreshed when we go see Zen's performance tomorrow."_
> 
>   
>  _"I guess I will."_
> 
>   
>  _"Eh? The two of you are going to watch Zen's performance together? How come I wasn't invited?"_
> 
>   
>  _"Sorry Yoosung! It's more of a girl's outing than anything else."_
> 
>   
>  _"Oh, okay... Well, have fun!"_

* * *

The next day, you meet up with Jaehee, offering her a quick and friendly hug before commenting on her outfit. You were used to seeing her wear a suit, so seeing her wear something more casual—but still classy and typically Jaehee—was a rare but pleasant sight. The young woman felt embarrassed by your compliments before returning some of her own towards you as the two of you started heading towards the theatre to watch Zen's performance.

You were feeling slightly conflicted as you waited for the program to start. If you recalled correctly, Echo Girl was supposed to have some sort of involvement with it, but you tried not to think too much about it. Right now, you should just focus on watching the program itself and enjoy it for what it is. And you did. Much more than you expected. The script and musical numbers were fantastic, and the _acting_ —the acting was absolutely tremendous.

After the show, Zen had texted both you and Jaehee, asking if you were still in the theatre. You responded with a 'yes', having decided to linger behind for a bit to avoid the crowd. Soon afterwards, Zen invited both you and Jaehee to come backstage; he was eager to know what you thought of his performance. Jaehee was more than excited and quickly took the lead as you walked beside her, finding amusement in the glint in her eyes. It seemed as though Zen had talked with the other crew and castmates beforehand as nobody stopped you from entering backstage and even offered to give you directions on where their star of the show currently was.

As you slowly approached where the actor was waiting for you, you heard an all too familiar voice ring out, "Lovely Zen, you were amazing!"

Soon enough, Zen came into sight, along with Echo Girl clinging onto his arm. The young man roughly pulled his arm away, "Thank you, but I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me."

Despite the civil words, you can hear the venom in his voice. But of course, Echo Girl was completely blind to it and continued, "Mm, but we had so much fun together."

" _You_ had fun. I didn't," Zen immediately corrected the idol. "There was nothing between us. Do you enjoy ruining people's lives? All their hard work and relationships?"

You can tell that Zen was livid at Echo Girl, and you were too. Perhaps Zen blamed her for everything that happened between you two; though seeing the guilt in his eyes proved to you that he understood he was equally to blame. The young woman was relentless, and you were quickly losing your patience. Confused, and with a mixture of worry in her expression, Jaehee watched as you took out a plastic water bottle from your bag. There were still some water left inside, and you unscrewed the cap partly before _whipping_ the bottle towards Echo Girl.

Echo Girl shrieked as she whipped her head towards you, and you offered a smug grin on your face. "Sorry, my hand slipped." You didn't sound sincere in the slightest, but that was understandable.

The idol took a moment to glare at you before flinging her hair over her shoulder, trying to act cool. "Resorting to violence just because Zen found me more attractive than you? How low. It's no wonder Zen chose me over you; you are so—"

You were about to walk up to Echo Girl to slap her, but Zen had beaten you to it, roughly placing his hand over the young woman's mouth. He glowered, "Say what you will about me, but don't you dare insult or drag down [Name] like that. She did nothing wrong, and you're mistaken. I never found you attractive, and I never ' _chose_ ' you. You're really testing my patience Kyungju. Get lost now, or else I'll have a talk with your manager about everything you've done."

Echo Girl stared in absolute shock at first, too stunned to move. Eventually, she snapped out of her thoughts and quickly turned on her heel to leave, completely flustered. Jaehee seemed to sense the tense atmosphere in the air and excused herself to follow after the idol to make sure she didn't pull up any more stunts, leaving both you and Zen alone.

"I'm so sorry about that," Zen apologized immediately before adding, "and thanks for covering for me."

You shrugged your shoulders, "Anything for a friend."

The actor gave a wry smile at the word 'friend' before shaking his head. He should be grateful that the two of were still able to be friends with each other. That was more than enough, given the circumstances. The young man tried to change the subject, "That was some pretty good aim, by the way. That water bottle could have hit me instead."

You smiled mischievously at the male, "Well, I mean, I _was_ aiming for Echo Girl, but if it hit you instead, I would've been fine with that result too."

Zen laughed at your brutal honesty, "Fair enough."

There were times you offered or said things that might have been done out of pettiness, but Zen was able to take them, acting as though they were just teasing remarks and behaviour, and you were thankful for that. It made talking with the actor that much easier for you. It helped ease whatever lingering strain there still was in the relationship.

The young man spoke again, breaking you away from your thoughts, "So I heard you're going on a date later this week."

You nodded, grinning excitedly as you thought about your future date. You didn't think you'd be able to enter a new relationship for a while, but somebody new had managed to enter your heart. A part of you still held conflicting feelings towards Zen, but this new love of yours was understanding and willing to give you as much time as you needed, making your heart swell even more towards them.

"I have no idea what I should wear," you admitted.

"Just go in sweats," Zen laughed, prompting you to playfully punch his arm. "Ow!"

You rolled your eyes, "Oh, like _that_ hurt. Take this seriously!"

"I'm sure they'll find you beautiful in no matter what you wear," Zen replied sincerely, flashing you a warm and reassuring smile.

"...Thanks," you answered after a while, feeling your cheeks flush from embarrassment. "We should probably go after Jaehee now before she starts to worry."

The actor nodded in agreement, gesturing for you to go first before proceeding to match your strides. There was a silence in the air, but it lacked the usual awkwardness and tension. It was just a mere and simple silence as the two of were lost in your own thoughts. It felt strange, having Zen walk beside you not as a lover, but as a friend. It was strange, but you didn't dislike it either.

Playfully, you nudged Zen's arm with your elbow, causing him to falter with his steps. You smirked at him, and he accepted your challenge. He nudged you back, and you returned it with more force. Soon enough, the two of you were competing against each other, pushing and shoving as your laughter mixed together with his in the air. This wasn't quite the future that you envisioned to have with Zen, but it was fine and fun regardless. Surely the two of you would have issues rise at times, but both you and Zen were able to get this far. You had complete faith you can overcome those problems too.

"Thanks for giving me a chance."

"...Thanks for not giving up."

You might not have appreciated what Zen did as a lover, but you appreciated his friendship. You were glad he was able to prove himself to be a better friend than boyfriend. You didn't want to let go of his friendship. He was glad he had the opportunity to love somebody as kind and strong as you. He didn't want your kindness to go to waste on him, and he was more than willing to support you and whatever relationships you would have in the future.

It's okay. Everything will be okay. The two of you firmly believed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm done another series! This one was rather difficult to write out as it dealt with a complicated issue that I had no experience in, ahah. I really wanted to focus more on the characterization and relationship instead of the actual cheating.  
> There were a lot of mixed views on where readers wanted the relationship to go, but I'm personally satisfied with this kind of ending. If I have to explain why, then I guess I just did a poor job with writing.  
> Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback on this series! I'm honoured that so many of you were interested in it. If it interests you, I also have two other Zen reader insert series in the work, [Dream Come True](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8638201/chapters/19809511) and [The One That I Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8734642/chapters/20024878). Thank you once again for all the wonderful support!


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